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Women tend to have a habit of apologising for the most trivial of things. Several psychology studies and research also has found that women apologise more than men.
You will often hear a sorry from a woman more than you do from a man. I’m guilty of this too sometimes.
I catch myself apologising and explaining myself and then later wonder if I didn’t need to do so.
The exact reason for this is not known, you might blame social programming (society), upbringing, education system, or something else entirely for it.
But the fact is that women tend to apologise about a lot more things in life than men.
We, women, need to consciously stop being apologetic for anything and everything. This needs to stop now!
Here are 9 things women should never apologise for…
#1 Your Appearance
Whether you are short, tall, thin, full-figured or whatever else your appearance may be, embrace it and be proud of it.
Women have been criticized for too long based on their appearances.
Women are told that they have to be a particular height, weight or have certain measurements and have even been judged based on it, to date.
Apart from that, if someone sees a thin girl, they ask if she doesn’t eat enough. If they see a plump woman, they judge the amount she eats.
People are never happy with what they see, and that includes yourself. Don’t be too harsh on yourself or your body.
STOP IT! Don’t apologise for looking the way you do.
Be yourself and as long as you’re medically healthy, you are good to go. Keep reminding yourself that you are beautiful, you are amazing and nobody can or should judge you for what they see externally.
# 2 Your Feelings/Emotions
It is okay to have feelings. It’s okay to be emotional.
What is not okay is judging someone based on having too many emotions or too less of it.
Who is anyone to decide how much you should cry if you are sad? Or laugh when you happy?
Women tend to blame their hormones, their periods, PMS, and so on when they cry “more than usual” or snap at someone unexpectedly.
When in reality, that’s what they feel. Also, don’t apologise if you happened to break down in a public place.
You are allowed to feel what you feel without having to explain it to others.
#3 Your Clothing Choices
For times immemorial, women have had to apologise for their wardrobe choices.
It does not matter if someone thinks you are wearing something too tight for a night at the club, too revealing for a date or too dressy for brunch.
If you feel like wearing a particular outfit because you like it or just because you want to, go right ahead girl!
It’s a personal choice you make and at the end of the day if you are comfortable in what you are wearing then ignore all the judgement surrounding it.
Even if it is your friends judging you! (On a side note, should you really keep such people as your friends?)
#4 For Saying No
Women feel guilty to say no. They tend to agree and say yes even if the resultant situation doesn’t favour them only so that they’ll be accepted in society.
Don’t do so. Don’t apologise for saying no. You have a choice and a right to say no.
Whether it is an invitation to attend a birthday party or consent to get physical, you have the right to say no and not be sorry about it.
If the other person thinks you are “flaking” or that you are being “too picky” or that you are being “a b*&$h” then so be it.
You don’t have to go somewhere or do something just to please others.
#5 Your Food Choices
Whether you are a vegetarian, non-vegetarian, pescatarian, vegan or any other term that you like to call yourself, don’t apologise for it. Your diet is your choice.
Whether you choose to eat healthily or eat junk is your business, not your friend’s or your relative’s. If you’d rather order for a burger when everyone else is ordering a salad, go right ahead and do not apologise for it.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation for eating what you want.
Your food is your choice because ultimately if you don’t like what you eat, you’ll eat less and feel hungry later and that helps no one.
In fact, it’ll harm you and your body in the long run.
# 6 Your Career Choices
Many a time, women are told they are not fit to be in a particular profession.
Historically, it is found that there are very few girls who opt for a mechanical engineering course while studying so parents and people tend to deter girls who want to pursue that branch of engineering.
But that does not mean if you, as a girl, wants to join it that you should not. It might not be a traditional choice but it is YOUR choice.
Likewise, people might opine that being a bartender or a carpenter does not suit a woman or that it is not a woman’s profession.
That is their opinion and they can keep it. If you love what you study/what you do, then go for it.
Do not listen to other people’s opinions about your career choices.
#7 For Thinking About Yourself/For Yourself
How many times have we been told, “If you want something, ask for it”? It seems like a simple statement but women are still apprehensive about doing this simple thing.
They try to meander their way around the topic or sugar coat it.
This action is based on the assumption that they might be perceived as being “too demanding”.
If a man thinks about his well-being it is considered normal. But if a woman does so, she is called selfish or self-centred.
Why should this be the case? Women are allowed to think about themselves and their well-being.
They have the right to ask for something if they want it just like men do.
Never apologise for going after what you want and thinking about yourself. Yes, being too selfish is not good at all but thinking about your well-being and needs is not a crime either.
Like, ordering a dish because your man likes it while you don’t enjoy it much might be fine once in a while but not all the time or letting him get an extra share because you think he wants it when you’ve been famished for hours is not right either.
# 8 Your Opinions
Most of us live in countries where no one forbids us to have and express our opinion.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, even women. People may not like your opinion but that is their problem, not yours.
You may not like a book or a movie that has got a good rating and is liked by all your friends and that is your personal choice. Do not be sorry about it.
Do not feel guilty because you like something that is not a popular choice over something that is.
For example, you do not have to apologise for saying you do not like a popular fellow parent in your child’s school. For all you know, that parent might be nasty to everyone but everyone is just scared to call it out.
The only time you should apologise for expressing your opinion or thoughts is if you’ve said it rudely.
Check out the post on – 5 Daily Affirmations to Create a Positive Shift in your life
#9 For Your Achievements
For years, men held the position of power, be it a CEO, an executive or a boss.
Even in movies or TV shows, men were shown in high standing positions while women were always portrayed in supporting roles. Women were passed off for a promotion or were judged if they achieved too much.
This should not be the case!
Sometimes women were only given respect if they married to someone respectable or accomplished. They were judged on if they had a certain number of babies.
But nobody asked them if that’s what they wanted or if they were happy? Shouldn’t those be more important questions that should be asked? Whether you have achieved a lot in life or not much, you should not have to apologise for it.
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